Have you ever reflected on how your feelings toward food has changed through the years? When we take time to think about our early childhood experiences with food, it can potentially point to current patterns (good and bad) that have carried through to adulthood. It also gives clarity on how long it’s been around and why they are so hard to break.
If you find yourself wanting to break an old habit with food, we have a tool that has helped many clients. We encourage you to create moments where you reconnect with your childhood self and the experiences at that time that may have shaped your relationship with food and body image.
This tool and many more are shared in the book, Stop Bingeing, Start Living: Proven Therapeutic Strategies for Breaking the Binge Eating Cycle by Evolve founder, Shrein Bahrami, LMFT.
Examining Your Family’s Relationship with Food
An eating disorder can develop out of a range of factors relating to how we were raised. This may be the environment we grew up in and our parental figure’s own relationship with food.
What may have affected your connections with food:
- A primary caregiver constantly dieting and restricting certain foods
- Primary caregiver eating different food or meals than the rest of the family
- Speaking negatively about his/her weight
- Not allowing certain foods in the house
- Gave food as a reward or took it away as a punishment
Since your eating disorder did not develop overnight, the time and intense work involved in understanding where these habits originated will take time, patience, and kindness with yourself.
The Effect of Temperament
A common feature to examine in understanding disordered eating patterns is one’s temperament. Temperament is defined as a person’s mental, physical, and emotional traits, or one’s natural disposition from birth. Let’s look at how one’s temperament can shape their relationship to food throughout childhood and into adulthood.
How your temperament may have affected your food and eating habits:
- Were you told you were a calm and easy-going baby or an agitated and anxious one?
- Did you have a difficult time expressing your emotions as a child?
- Did you find that food was more comforting or soothing to you in times of distress or anxiety?
- Was food used as a reward when you accomplished a task or did well in school?
- Do you have any affiliations with foods that are particularly soothing or comforting because of fond childhood memories?
Spending time delving into these types of questions can help gain introspection into how your temperament drives your behavior. Once we have a clearer understanding of what type of temperament we have, then we can have more patience with ourselves and improve our self-compassion. It also improves one’s ability to regulate some of the emotion-driven behaviors behind the eating disorder.
As children, we are observers by nature and are therefore much more likely to emulate a parental figure’s actions as opposed to what they tell us is right or wrong. We begin to form our own ways of interpreting good and bad, right and wrong. These interpretations stay with us long after childhood and even into adulthood. It takes time to heal them, but with mindfulness and a desire to change, it is possible.
If you would like to learn more about working with an Evolve clinician, we offer a complimentary 15-minute call.
Written by Emily Bachmeier
Excerpts from Evolve founder, Shrein Bahrami’s book, “Stop Bingeing, Start Living: Proven Therapeutic Strategies for Breaking the Binge Eating Cycle”
