How to Embrace Solitude

Fostering a strong internal dialog that allows you to embrace being alone can be challenging. Many Americans report struggling with a lack of companionship of a significant other, friend, roommate, or family member.

The Loneliness Companion is a guide for improving one’s ability to sit in the discomfort of loneliness.  Chapter 4, titled, “Embracing Solitude,” describes the potential benefits of solitude as a way to bring about clarity and inspiration.

Benefits of Solitude

  • Improved focus and productivity
  • Improved mood
  • Sense of freedom
  • Greater connection and spirituality
  • A greater sense of self-empowerment
  • Greater connection to nature

Each of these benefits can be manifested once the difference between solitude and loneliness is recognized.  The ability to sit with yourself and be your own best company is a goal that can be achieved through practice and patience.

By improving the relationship we have with ourselves, we will be able to bring our best selves into future relationships. This is easier without the fear of abandonment, knowing that if we are alone with ourselves, we are already whole. 

Enjoying This Time on Your Own

When there is a lack of control in our lives, it is easy to reach for a quick fix. This might look like racing to the next relationship to have some comfort and predictability. Often we find ourselves “waiting” for that perfect person to appear or end up settling in a relationship that leaves no room for our own personal development and freedom.

Instead of viewing time alone as one of loneliness and longing, use it as an opportunity to reassess your life’s dreams, goals, and passions. The lessons you will learn from the discomfort of being alone will transform you for the better. It will bring to light aspects of yourself that you would not have discovered any other way. 

Affirmations to Embrace Solitude

I am able to take space for myself when needed.

I know at the core I am good.

I believe in the value of solitude

I am committed to honoring myself and practicing gratitude.


Love Yourself First

Changing your perspective on what it means to be single will aid in the transformative power and freedom that accompanies being on your own.

When you are comfortable with who you are and have developed self-esteem through radically accepting all parts of yourself, then your next relationship with be one that is both challenging and satisfying.

One trait that may hinder relationships is perfectionism, which inevitably leads to perpetually chasing after validation outside of one’s self. This may lead to pressure on the other person in the relationship feeling as if they are their partner’s “missing piece.”

If we can develop a strong sense of self through utilizing an ability to sit with ourselves, that skill can allow us to be whole with or without another person. 

Gratitude Practice

Developing a gratitude practice is one way to recognize the positive aspects of ourselves and our surroundings- naturally putting us on the path towards loving all parts of ourselves and bringing that into our relationships. 

  • Use a pen and paper, an app on your phone, or a gratitude journal including prompts
  • Acknowledge at least 3 things you are grateful for
  • Designate a time of day; usually first thing in the morning or the end of the day
  • Set an alarm on your phone daily to remind you 
  • Reach out to a friend and suggest that you do this together for accountability

Take Away

The relationship you have with yourself will be the foundation for healthy, balanced relationships with others. Spending time alone is essential to truly taking a deep dive into who we are, who we want to be, and our own potential.

The key is recognizing that certain distractions in our daily lives to remove ourselves from our thoughts will only suppress the number of amazing things we have yet to discover.

By surrendering to solitude and taking this as an opportunity to get to know yourself, you will come out stronger with new eyes for yourself and the world.


If you would like to learn more about working with an Evolve clinician, reach out to us today!



Written by Emily Bachmeier, MA

Excerpts from the book The Loneliness Companion; A Practical Guide for Improving Your Self-Esteem and Finding Comfort in Yourself